freshitup

I think I will vid to Supernatural. But not a serious one. Clips with the gag reel!

I just need to find a download first...

DAY #19 - Wednesday - 12/16/09

Why no Day #17-18? Because I did absolutely nothing. Nothing interesting, that is. But I'm gonna do an entire reivew of my day.

I was supposed to wake up to 89.7 FM KSGN - church music. Instead, it's to 90.1 MF Positive Alternative AIR1. This is my type of music! :D It's like rock, less-gospelish church/God music. After the robbery of my precious iPod yesterday, this is the next best thing: church/rock/alternative/emotional music. Perfect. BUT... Speaking of my stolen iPod.

It happened yesterday after the English exam. I was reading Lucky by Alice Sebold and listening to my iPod while people were finishing up their exams. But once everyone was done, most of my friends made a circle of conversation. I felt excluded so I joined them, happily. From my seat, I could see my iPod and book from my line of sight. My friends and I really dived into topics. I forget what they are, but some of them were serious, some of them were fun and perhaps inappropriate. Haha! But once the bell rang, dismissing us for the day, I went to my desk... Only my book and earphones were on my desk! :O NO IPOD. I panicked because I couldn't find it. I remembered that there was this whole group of guys around the area where my desk is. I have my suspects who it is... but I won't be seeing them for a very long time! 3 weeks of Winter Break! And I won't even have 4th period English anymore next semester! Oh, I pray that I can find it, or my thief returns it. It is such a sad day :(

Anyway, my final exams have been tough. It sucks complete ass that I take my harder ones in the morning. Yesterday, Trig and English. Today, Spanish II and PE. My body is incredibly exhausted from the workout. We hadn't done workout in weeks and today I had to work myself vigorously and diligently. I dread the soreness I predict will come. And tomorrow, World History and Chem. I'm so drained in only two days.

After school, I've been going to the public library with Jenna Li. Computers are offline until Thursday, but she and I always have a good time together :) We've been eating junk downstairs. Yesterday, she gave me my XMas gift. It was a necklace and a bracelet. They're both beautiful. I have a feeling I'll be wearing them all the time along with my bracelet with wings that my aunt gave me. Well, we found a series called the Seven Deadly Sins from the Simon Pulse Co. I've been playing Sudoku on her phone. She's been sending herself emoticons from mine. We've been texting eachother silly sentences with no spaces like "zippadeedoodaazippadeeyaaymyohmywhatawonderfulday" She's really distracting me from what happens at home.

I'm still so sad about my iPod. I may not show it completely, but there's this kind of... absence. How could someone do this to me? Right in front of me, too? I never did anything... Why? First, the computer monitor, now iPod. The only make-ups I've gotten are new Converse and new church clothese these last two days.

Gosh, Skillet is playing! This is the first time I've ever heard it on the radio! :D And earlier, I heard an ad for Red's "Innocence and Instinct" album. Even though it released in February, but still! My favorite bands on 90.1? This is a miracle!!

But I didn't get to finish watching the TVD marathon tonight :( What did I do? Nothing! I was eating vanilla ice cream downstairs watching TVD while Father was installing the new computer monitor (I mention that now). Then he calls me up and tells me to clean everything! He told me I'm a pig. That I'm becoming like Mom. That is utterly an insult!! Does all of the pain she give me also trade off things? The height is already enough to inherit! I don't need her bitterness!

(Mom enters the room).

She doesn't understand. He doesn't understand. Nobody understands. There are random times when my eyes immediately well up. Why do I cry like this? I hold it all in until I'm alone then I release. It's uncanny, unpredictable. I try to hold it in when I'm alone, but it's involuntary and uncontrollable. I seem to have this constant emptiness or loneliness that never leaves my side. Even when I'm with my friends. I'm like a puzzle piece that can almost fit the puzzle, but not perfectly, not quite there. But almost. The piece fights to fit, but it simply cannot conform. I have plenty of loner times. They just occur. Like I'm missing something. Do my friends feel like this sometimes? Do they?

Tonight, while Father was up here cleaning, I was just on the pull out couch, curled up in a ball, staring at the black hued cloth. Like I was trying to stare myself into the cotton so I can just disappear into that infinite blackness and hide where nobody can find me. Anyway, while... during that moment... as Father continued to work... I had a swelling in my chest or heart. It wasn't painful, but it wasn't pleasant, either. Like there was some gravitational force pressing against the inside of my chest, threatening to burst my chest open. Or... like a harder heartbeat.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I just have some type of empty feeling. A missing piece.

Was I not loved enough as a child? I didn't live the happiest one.

I've gotta stop. It's 10:29 pm. More exams tomorrow.

Tomorrow, the sun will rise and the heat will radiate into the air. I will wake up and do the routine. Forget all of my home problems at school and not worry with my friends. Enjoy the moment. The last moments. Then school will end and winter break will begin. Three weeks of nothingness. Father working night shift. Mom cooped up somewhere in the room. Justin ignorant. What will I discover in the cold break while I sulk alone?

DAY #17 - Sunday - 12/13/09

Today, Mom, Justin, and I went to Barnes & Nobles Bookstore. I did review work for about 2 hours. The indoor Starbucks didn't have any Triple Chocolate Chunk cookies :( I ALWAYS get one there!!! But NO. They didn't have one. Gah, I was so mad! And to top it off, I had to get Justin a snack, too -.- He got a brownie and I got a Double Chocolate Cookie instead. It was not as good as the Triple Chocolate one :| I had to use MY MONEY to buy him his stupid brownie.

Anyway, after I was done doing my homework, I roamed around the Teen/Young Adult section of the bookstore. I take shelter there when I look at books. I love being in a bookstore because of all of the new books that can captivate. I loved seeing all sorts of other people there. Because it means that there are other people who have literary interests, also. Plus, B & N is a great place to study :)

I got to look at a lot of books. But the one book/series that caught me was the Sweep Series by Cate Tiernan. It's a series of fifteen books. The first one is called the Book of Shadows and the final one is called the Night Child (?). It's about a girl named Morgan and her adventures as she dives deeper into her history as a powerful Wiccan witch. I skimmed through all 15 books for 2 hours and it seems SOOO GOOD.

I'm asking for the Book of Shadows for XMas. When I showed Father that, he worried I'm some kind of 'Charmed One' like the sisters from Charmed. LOL! There were quite a lot of... 'magical' and 'vamptastic' books. You can never go wrong with those. But there are also realistic books. Like about issues with family or rape or divorce or drugs.

It's the truth.

DAY #16 - Saturday - 12/12/09

4:11 pm - Just got home from church. This is the latest I've stayed after in a long time. This is how it is if we're gonna make fools of ourselves for our skit. We all aren't doing so great. Brandon keeps angering David and they aren't getting along. We're all trying to cooperate. Hopefully, the night of... We do a decent job. Cause so far, our practice isn't proving much :/

5:24 - If we had milk, I would eat cereal. But no, Justin finished it! My kitchen is empty. I am hungry!

6:54 - I can hear the rain pouring outside. The build up was so big.

9:37 - I love Eloise and everything... But I am exhausted. My sabbath nap never happened. I just lied down in bed for hours. Nikki never called me back.

DAY #15 - Friday - 12/11/09

Hmm... Well, I went to Vesper... Late. Because of Mom. Some people were still at Zeke's house. I didn't wanna come before because of Zeke himself, but if I wanna be a good person... Well, I've gotta attempt to be nice, right? So we showed up and people were close to leaving.

The only things I did was converse with Andrew and Nikki about how the playlist for the New Years Eve skit, A Kid Named Collin. I'm throwing a lot of song choices in ;) So I'm glad my type of music will be involved.

Songs like: Friends, River Flows In You, In & Out of Love, etc ;D

But when everyone left... I was alone to situate myself on a set of three chairs and lie myself down as a bed cause I was tired. Mom kept on gossiping with the adults who were left. I eventually went down to my grandparents' place since they lived on the downstairs apt. I fell asleep on their couch. Hehe!

DAY #14 - Thursday - 12/10/09

9 am - Chanure is the boy who cried Spanish! Sweet and short notes, a sheep's ass!

11:43 - Oh my eff. Someone pulled the fire alarms after the lunch bell rang. It was sudden an loud. What I hate most!

2:15 pm - I'm not that chinky, ok?! Dang, I had to hide my eyes with my scarf. Nyhoff and Rachel kept making me talk... blindly, of course. Which made it more amusing for them x) OH! And FYI, it's perfectly fine for asians to point out other asians' chinkiness. No matter how derogatory it is!

3:27 - Geez, so I don't wanna sit in the front seat. Big deal x_x

4:11 - Decorated the XMas tree. Justin insisted on it. I think it was a lame idea to do it now, honestly. We always do it during the night time with some ABC Family movie on. Couldn't have he waited this weekend night, maybe? Gosh, patience, Justin.

5:03 - Geography of Girlhood by Kristen Smith is done being read... In only 2 hours. Haha!

6:44 - Crap! I slept through dinner. Why does nobody wake me up?! DAMN IT.

DAY #13 - Wednesday - 12/9/09

9 am - I got a 98% on my History test! So close to a 100% :D

11:50 - Can friendships be like a light switch? When two are just on > off > on > off... This reminds me of someone in 8th grade. Hopefully this won't end miserably? Gah! 

12:55 pm - "That's what she said." is selfish? Psh, naww.

4:20 - I have to change the song from 'The Meadow' to something else. I've been drifting in and out of sleep for the past 1.5 hours.

6 - I want to melt half of a chocolate bar so I can dip the other half in it. Rachel said it tastes good. I wanna find out! But I'm broke and I'm at guitar lessons :P

8:16 - McDonalds' games are fun. Gotta love how we can play more than we should. But the food is fattening...

9:37 - wtf man?! I did not touch the fucking heater today! Quit blaming all this shit on me. You know you did it, Mom, cause you don't want the bill to be higher. I know how your mind works. Fuck, man! 

DAY #11 - Monday - 12/7/09

7:17 am - Under the hallway roof cause I've been dropped off early. It's raining and it's wet and cold. Grr. But I'm a toughie. I can take it.

9:56 - I blush? Really? REALLY? I didn't know I did... Especially with my tanned skin. I knew my face could get all hot, but not red O_O

11:14 - It's actually raining. Like raining raining. Pouring raining. I hope I get inside quick.

1:30 pm - LOL. My Vans are all squeaky. And I'm not annoying anyone with my constant squeaking. Only Sean keeps commenting, haha.

3:14 - Geez, I can't forget simple things without getting burned. Sheesh. Take a chill pill. I'm oversensitive.

3:24 - So I have a fucking shitload of history hw to do that's due tomorrow. I need to diligently work. I already fail.

5:47 - Mom giddied when Father said she'd gift her with $400 for XMas. Hurrah?

6:07 - Yeah, Mom, you're not asking much. Only for me to become the President and give you everything you want.

7:08 - I love the Spongebob XMas special! <3

DAY #10 - Sunday - 12/6/09

2 pm - Mom gets to watch 2012 while I watch Justin cause Father's sleeping. Oh joy. More memories on the couch -.-

5 - It hurts to get up. I've been a couch potato for hours.

5:42 - What have I watched so far? iQuit iCarly, Fanboy & Chumchum, Something's Gotta Give, The Brother's Grimm, HP 2-4.

5:50 - Father yelled at us cause Justin keeps complaining about going to the market to buy junk food and he hasn't had any dinner and because I'm being a lazy ass. Great.

6 - Oh HA! Ok. So I'm the reason why everyone's mad. Apparently I have a bad attitude and I'm too lazy to get off of my ass. Well, maybe it's because of the effects of computer withdrawal! Or IDK? I'm tired from this week so I wanna rest? Is that so much to ask for?

6:12 - My clock spontaneously turns the radioon... It's a bit disturbing, but the church stations are always on :)

7:37 - At Walmart. wtf? Why is Mom asking me to get a new iPod for XMas if it costs $200 or something? 5 books and the HBP DVD will be so much less. Come on, I'm trying to be considerate and make my wish list light this year.

8:09 - Snacking on Hersheys with Almonds King Size, baby!! Gah, but gas stations are so expensive... -.-
 
8:17 - So Walmart was... "pleasant." Haha. I skimmed through the NM Movie Companion. Sure, those things are pretty. But not pretty enough to have me keep :P